


Introduction to Parisian Architecture

by baviereteam



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Gen, Paris (City)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:49:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28758366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baviereteam/pseuds/baviereteam
Summary: Jeff and Annie are on a trip to Paris. With Britta. Weird.
Relationships: Annie Edison/Jeff Winger
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	Introduction to Parisian Architecture

INT. PARIS SUBWAY

Jeff, Annie and Britta are in a subway train on line 1, standing at the front of the car. This is a new train with a glass window on the front, as this is an automatic, driverless subway line.

ANNIE

Wow, guys! This is so impressive!

BRITTA

What, the subway? We have those back home too, you know.

ANNIE

Yes, Britta, but none of the ones you've ever been on has the standing of the Parisian "métro", nor did they thought of letting people watch in front of them.

JEFF

This is France, Annie. It's not as much about getting the tourists a sight of dirty dark tunnels that all look the same, as much as having a service that doesn't depend on lazy, constantly-protesting workers.

SUBWAY VOICE

Palais Royal-Musée du Louvre.

BRITTA

I'll have you know that those protests are helping the workers to preserve their rights against the constant threats of the system! How do you think they got free healthcare here ?

ANNIE

Um, actually, the French social security system was created after World War II.

JEFF

(looks up from his phone)

(puts his phone in his pocket)

(rolls eyes)

SUBWAY VOICE

Palais Royal-Musée du Louvre.

Attention à la marche en descendant du train. 

Please mind the gap between the train and the platform. 

Bitte achten Sie auf die Lücke zwischen Zug und Banhsteigkante.

  


  


INT. PARIS SUBWAY STATION "PALAIS ROYAL-MUSéE DU LOUVRE"

Jeff leaves the train first, trying to escape the girls' bickering, as he is not interested in the least in the history of French social rights - he only appreciates the frogs for their clothing and cosmetics industry, and as an excuse to pit against Duncan's home land. Once faced with a flight of stairs on the left of the platform, another one on the right, and a tunnel in the middle, however, Jeff decides to wait for Annie - the signs indicate that the station has no less than seven exits, and he hasn't got any idea of where to go next.

BRITTA

Eager to leave us, Jeff ?

JEFF

(rolls eyes, again)

I'm not the one who added themselves to a romantic trip.

BRITTA

No, you're the one who bought three plane tickets instead of two, and realized it was cheaper to invite someone to this whole thing than to lose the price of that spare ticket.

JEFF

This is the pot calling the kettle black.

ANNIE

(scoffs, looking at JEFF and BRITTA with angry eyes, arms crossed on her chest)

BRITTA

(looks away)

ANNIE

(sighs)

Let's follow "Carrousel du Louvre". It's an underground mall, but it seems to be the closest way to the outside.

She started walking towards the left-hand stairs, with that quick-paced bouncy walk that only she mastered, followed by Jeff and Britta, who were coming towards her at a definitely-not-bouncy speed.

  


  


INT. "CARROUSEL DU LOUVRE"

At the top of the stairs, and after following a few corridors, the three Greendale students finally enter a circular room, built in rich-looking stone, and topped by a reversed glass pyramid, through which the sunlight enters, reflecting on the shining ground. The place has clearly been designed to give a feel of luxury and impress the visitors: this is not a random mall, but clearly a Very Important Place, at the center of the French capital, and built at a strategic intersection of important buildings. 

On the left, a chocolate-brown wall encasing a golden-looking iron gate, reads, in golden letters, "MUSEE DU LOUVRE". Then, separated by a corridor from the museum entrance, a glass pane the height of the room opens on wooden and gold-plated furniture sitting on a red carpet, with a banner calling "COMEDIE-FRANCAISE". Annie is staring directly at it, silent, as if she felt the weight of history in this very place; Jeff admires, admitting to himself that whoever designed this room knew how to awe his audience. Britta, turning her back to her friends, mutters, long enough that both Annie and Jeff turn to her, discovering the reason for the blonde girl's ire.

Again, a corridor separates the Comédie-Française section from the next space. This one too has a full-height glass pane, although the furniture inside is quite more modern. On the glass itself, no inscriptions; only a 2-meter-large logo representing an apple, smugly shining white light.

BRITTA

(voice angered)

It's an Apple Store.

JEFF

Very observant.

BRITTA

I can't believe they put an APPLE STORE right between two cultural landmarks, come on!

JEFF

(looking at his phone, not even pretending to look interested)

Yeah, me neither.

BRITTA

Once again, outrageous capitalism destroys everything it touches. What next, a McDonald's on the Champs-Elysées ? This is what happens when we let corporate interests uncontrolled. I thought Europe was more immune and rational than this, but it seems money taints everything it touches, huh. Well, know what? I think I should come here and protest - guys, this is awful. Guys?

Britta turns to where Jeff and Annie would be, if Jeff and Annie had stopped walking to listen to her. Instead, there's just a crowd of strangers. 

BRITTA

(rolls eyes)

Of course, she couldn't use her phone to call Annie or Jeff, unless she wanted to rack up even more debt - phone calls when abroad costing more or less the same than a semester of tuition at GCC. Sadly, Britta's mastering of French was quite similar to Britta's mastering of Spanish (not that Ben Chang was to blame, this time), so there was no point in asking the locals. Of course, would she have calmed down raised her head, she would have noticed the huge signs in French and English on top of the corridors, but, regrettably for her, she just did not. Instead, she wandered into a random corridor.

If there was something the French were good at, she thought, it was how to build labyrinths. She turned left at the first intersection, right at the second, then right again, then went down a flight of stairs, then right, left, up another staircase, and then left. There seemed to be another big, light room at the end of that corridor; she entered it. Right in front of her, the white apple on the glass panel seemed to look down on her.

BRITTA

(huffs)

Dammit.

  


  


EXT. THE "CHAMP DE MARS", in the line for the eiffel tower

After they managed to find Britta, who had wandered the mall for a big part of the last hour, and decided to split to different visits after ensuring that they would be able to meet back at the hotel in the evening, Annie had used her Disney-ish face in order to get Jeff to come up the Eiffel Tower with her. Now, however, that they had been stuck in the line for the elevators for more than 15 minutes, and were probably going to wait 30 more, Jeff's patience had dropped under zero. The weather was too hot, and he was thirsty, and had jet-lag, and his feet hurt, and he didn't even care for that glorified, 300 meters high radio antenna. He turned to Annie, who was the exact opposite: her smile was elongated enough that her lips probably extended up to her ears, and her eyes had that look of anticipation that she probably also displayed when she bought new binders.

JEFF

(sighs)

  


ANNIE

What ?

JEFF

Nothing.

ANNIE

Jeff...

JEFF

(rolls eyes)

I'm bored of waiting.

ANNIE

Well, this is the Eiffel Tower. It's the symbol of both Paris and France. Of course there's going to be tourists. Just like us, you know ?

JEFF

Honestly, if what you're here for is symbols of France, we could just go to a restaurant, eat from a cheese plate, and drink some wine. And then, tomorrow, go to a protest, then visit a L'Oréal shop.

ANNIE

(Disney face)

I thought you came with me because you wanted us to spend time together and see what I was excited to do during our time here...

JEFF

(tries to keep their eyes locked and a disappointed face)

(fails)

... I did. You're right. I'm just not-very-excited about the waiting. It's not an interesting experience, French or not. I'd rather be watching a documentary about Stephen Colbert.

ANNIE

(smiles lightly)

Stephen Colbert isn't French. You're mistaking him with Jean-Baptiste Colbert. He was a finance advisor during the Sun King's reign. He created a questionable economical doctrine, then wrote the rules for French slavery.

JEFF

(winces)

Urgh. My mistake.

Happily enough for Jeff, Annie is way more knowledgeable about Jean-Baptiste Colbert's history and work, than he himself is about Stephen Colbert's career, and by the time she's finished explaining him how the former impacted society well over French borders for a few centuries, they're in front of the line, with just enough time for Annie to make sure Jeff doesn't feel like he has been schooled.

ANNIE

That said, I think Stephen Colbert's work will be significant too. Maybe in the way of our generation understanding politics better. Or in the way of sarcasm.

JEFF

(chuckles)

I didn't really care about him. That was just an attempt at Winger-speeching my impatience.

AnNIE

(smiling)

(playfully punches him in the arm)

Jeff!

ABED

(in Jeff and Annie's heads)

Wow. Meta.

Right in front of them, the person controlling access to the elevator signs that they can go in. Jeff turns to Annie.

JEFF

Milady ?

Annie

(takes his arm)

Milord.

While they're slowly going up in a mechanical noise, Annie still holding his arm, her head against his shoulder while looking at the Seine River and the people in line through the window, Jeff admits to himself that Paris definitely has a romantic vibe.


End file.
